Facebook a ‘tool’ for cheating spouses, some say

Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of divorce cases, according to a survey of more than 5,000 attorneys.

STORY HIGHLIGHTS

• NEW: Facebook responds to the idea of social-networking sites leading to divorces
• Ken Savage created a website after discovering his wife’s messages with an ex-boyfriend
• Affairs conducted on the web are growing as social-networking sites grow
• Study: 81 percent of divorce attorneys use evidence found on networking sites

(CNN) — Ken Savage says that, at first, he welcomed his wife’s new interest in Facebook.

She had recently recovered from a bout with depression and dependence on prescription drugs, and he thought reconnecting with old friends would help get her out of her rut. But he says he became increasingly suspicious of her social networking activity when she began hiding her computer screen when he entered the room.

Savage soon discovered his wife was using the site to meet up with an old boyfriend — an increasingly common occurrence as more and more adults join Facebook.

Savage, 38, of Lowell, Massachusetts, is the creator of FacebookCheating.com, a website he started in 2009 shortly after he discovered his wife’s affair in an effort “to help others cope with someone cheating on them as well as shine light upon someone who is using Facebook to cheat.”

A recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81 percent of divorce attorneys have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years. More than 66 percent of those attorneys said the No. 1 site most often used as evidence is Facebook with its 400 million registered users.

Video: Facebook a tool for infidelity?

RELATED TOPICS

• Facebook Inc.
• Internet
• Marriage

Another recent survey by Divorce-Online.com of more than 5,000 attorneys says Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of divorce cases.

“As everyone continues to share more and more aspects of their lives on social networking sites, they leave themselves open to much greater examinations of both their public and private lives in these sensitive situations,” Marlene Eskind Moses, president of the AAML, said in a statement of the survey’s results.

Savage, who says he has nothing against Facebook and uses it regularly to connect with childhood friends, told HLN’s “Prime News” Wednesday that the networking site is simply “a tool for an affair.”

He says that if there is trouble within a marriage or a relationship, “the affair’s going to happen anyway,” but Facebook “makes it much easier.”

Andrew Noyes, a spokesman for Facebook, says the website is not responsible for breaking up marriages.

“It’s ludicrous to suggest that Facebook leads to divorce and we would suggest that anyone who purports to have conducted surveys about the topic also ask respondents about other popular communication channels, such as text messaging, chat sites and email, before jumping to conclusions,” Noyes said.

Stacey Kaiser, a psychotherapist and relationship expert, says she estimates Facebook plays a much larger factor in divorces.

“It’s not just your everyday affair,” Kaiser told “Prime News.” “When it comes to something like Facebook, you are reconnecting with a long-lost love. All those teenage feelings, those college feelings come back again, you feel young again, and it drives you to do something you don’t normally do.”

Savage, who is separated and living apart from his wife, says communication with your spouse is key to keeping your Facebook page as a place to network, not coordinate illicit rendezvous.

“In the beginning when we first got on Facebook, we would openly talk” about shared friends’ new babies and other milestones posted on the site, Savage told HLN.

“When it got real quiet, that was the problem,” he said.

Brenda Wade, a clinical therapist whose self-proclaimed mission is to cut the divorce rate by half, says the mistake most couples make is placing priorities on material things rather than partnership.

“We need to put that energy, that time, that money into the relationship,” she told “Prime News.” “That’s where you want to feel the excitement and the rush.”

Interstate Situations

Q. What if the non-residential parent cannot be found locally?

A. Our office will use multiple resources to attempt to locate the non-custodial parent.  When the non-custodial parent’s social security number is known, the CSEA is able to use the State and Federal Parent Locator Service, the National Directory of New Hires, the Financial Institution Data Match, and the Federal Case Registry to assist in locating the non-residential parent.  The CSEA can also request a child support agency in another state to search for the non-custodial parent. With the increase in automated location tools, it is becoming more difficult for non-paying parents to hide from their child support obligations and the agencies that enforce them.

Q. I’ve heard there is a law called UIFSA. What does this law do?

A. UIFSA (Uniform Interstate Family Support Act) is a law regulating the establishment and enforcement of child support orders where the parents live in different states or where the support order is in a state other than where either of the parents live.

Q. I now live in Ohio but my case started in Michigan. Do I have to open a new case in Ohio?

A. No. If you choose, you may simply continue to work with the child support authorities in Michigan.

Q. I know where my ex-spouse works in another state. How can I get an income withholding?

A. Our Child Support Lawyers can explain the two ways this can be done. They may choose to simply send a withholding order directly to an employer anywhere in the country. If needed, they may also choose to register your support order for enforcement, only in the state where he works.

Q. I was divorced in Ohio but then moved to Tennessee. My ex-spouse moved to Florida and another order was established. Can I enforce both orders?

A. The UIFSA law requires the determining of one “Controlling Order.” See the Determining a Controlling Order part of the Interstate section for a description of the rules for choosing this order. Once that order is determined, it is the only order that can be enforced or modified.

Q. I live in Ohio, but my ex-spouse lives in Nebraska. Can my California support order be modified?

A. Yes. Please call our office to help you. We can register your California support order in Nebraska, which is where the modification will occur. Your order can also be enforced there.

Q. My ex-spouse lives in Oregon and is self employed. What can I do to obtain support?

A. Our attorneys can register your support order in Oregon for enforcement. The child support agency in Oregon will then be able to use all the enforcement tools available under its state law to collect your support.

Q. The CSEA here in Ohio has been trying to enforce my child support order for years but every time the agency locates the non-residential parent and are able to obtain an order for an income withholding, the non-residential parent moves to another state. Is there anything else I can do?

A. Your case may qualify for federal prosecution under the Child Support Recovery Act of 1992 or other federal law. You should discuss this possibility with your our attorneys.

Q. My ex-spouse paid support regularly until last month and then he moved to Europe. Is there anything I can do to get my order enforced?

A. Ohio has reciprocal agreements with several European countries, most Canadian provinces and certain other foreign countries. Some countries may also be able to assist you with enforcement, even though no formal reciprocal arrangements exist. Our Painesville Child Support attorneys can tell you what kind of help may be possible in your individual case. For a list of international child support addresses and phone contacts, please click on International Contact Information.

For more information contact our Painesville Law Firm  at 440-639-1020

Generally, the IRS says no to tax deductions to for a couple who split and incurred legal fees and other costs to obtain a divorce, separation or decree of support. In certain circumstances, however, you might be able to salvage a deduction for the part of the expenses specifically allocable to tax advice in connection with a divorce or separation, as well as for legal fees to obtain taxable alimony. Here are some rules that are helpful to know.

NONDEDUCTIBLE EXPENSES. The IRS prohibits any deduction for the cost of personal advice, counseling and legal action in a divorce. For example, no write-off for what a husband spends to resist his wife’s demands for more alimony or to set aside a pre­nuptial property agreement.

FEES FOR ALIMONY. The portion of legal fees specifically paid (usually by the wife) to collect alimony that is taxable to her can be included, just like the cost of preparing her return, with her other itemized deductibles on Schedule A of Form 1040. The place to claim the fees is on the Schedule A line for “other expenses.” This break is available for the original proceeding by which she procures taxable alimony, as well as for any subsequent proceeding to increase it or collect arrears.

But these legal fees and most other miscellaneous deductions are allowable only to the extent that their total in any one year exceeds two percent of her AGI, short for adjusted gross income. AGI is the amount listed on Form 1040 after reporting salaries and other sources of income and claiming certain deductions such as alimony payments and money moved into retirement plans.

For someone with an AGI of $100,000 and miscellaneous outlays of $10,000, the two percent floor shrinks the deduction to just $8,000 – what is left after the $10,000 is offset by $2,000, which is two percent of $100,000.

In no event can she deduct the cost of obtaining income that is not taxable to her – say, back child support or temporary alimony while a joint return was still being filed.

FEES FOR TAX ADVICE. Subject to the two percent benchmark for miscellaneous expenses, you get to deduct fees that cover tax research and advice on such items as property transfers and dependency exemptions for the children.

But you can do so only if the bill specifies in a reasonable way how much is for tax counseling. Moreover, there is no deduction at all for your payment of your spouse’s legal fees, even if they are for tax advice only. The deduction is allowed just for advice you receive about your own tax problems.

ALLOCATING FEES BETWEEN TAX AND NON-TAX MATTERS. Does your attorney’s services include coun­seling on taxes? Remind the attorney to prepare a bill that breaks down deductible and nondeductible charges. That way, assuming you overcome the two percent hurdle, you are able to substantiate your deduction in the event of an audit.

According to IRS Revenue Ruling 72-245, the agency will accept a lawyer’s allocation of his or her fee between tax and nontax matters where the attorney allocates primarily on the basis of the amount of time attributable to each, the customary charge in the locality for similar services and the results obtained in the divorce negotiations.

Please contact us for a free consultation to discuss your particular situation. Call Patrice Denman 440 639-1020

Divorce, Dissolution and Legal Separation.

In Ohio, there are three basic actions which involve the suspension or termination of a legal marriage: (i) divorce, (ii) dissolution and (iii) legal separation. A “divorce” action is, in essence, a lawsuit – a lawsuit where one spouse sues the other spouse seeking to end the marriage, divide up the marital property and determine child support/child custody issues.

A “dissolution” is not really a lawsuit (e.g. wife vs. husband). However, it is nevertheless a legal proceeding in the domestic relations court – a legal proceeding which seeks all of the same things as a divorce. In a dissolution, both the husband and the wife file the “petition” for dissolution together in the same document. Attached to this “petition for dissolution” is another document called a “separation agreement.” A separation agreement is a contract between the husband and wife which settles all of the issues relating to the termination of the marriage (i.e. the legal termination of the marriage, the division of the martial assets and the allocation of the child support/custody issues. When the husband and the wife file the petition for dissolution (with the attached separation agreement), the domestic relations court sets up a dissolution hearing in about 30 to 60 days. At that hearing, the domestic relations judge will ask both the husband and the wife if they still want to end their marriage, and will further ask if they both want the marriage termination to be controlled by the terms of the separation agreement they attached to the petition for dissolution. If the answer to both of those questions is yes, the judge will grant them a divorce and will transform the separation agreement into a final court order judgment decree.

A “legal separation” has all of the attributes of a divorce or dissolution. However, the spouse who files the legal separation action does not seek the termination of the marriage. Instead, that spouse seeks to live completely separate and apart from the other spouse, seeks to divide up the marital property and seeks to determine all child support/child custody issues – all without actually ending the marriage. A legal separation can be converted into a divorce action if one of the parties files a motion requesting such a conversion.